Romantic Relationships Q&A with My Mother, Lorraine
A psychotherapist with three decades of experience answers your questions!
When it comes to romantic relationships, we’re rarely taught the essentials - how to choose the right partner, how to communicate effectively, how to navigate conflict, and how to sustain a healthy relationship over time.
My mother, Lorraine Trotman, is a BACP accredited psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience. She works with individuals and couples both online and from our family home in Balham. If you're interested in sessions, you can reach out to her here.
I thought it would be fascinating to share some of her insights with you. Thank you to everyone who sent in questions via Instagram!
Of course, every relationship is unique, and these topics are often explored in depth over weeks or months in therapy. But hopefully, this gives you some valuable food for thought.
And just a reminder - couples therapy isn’t only for times of crisis. Therapy can help to strengthen and future-proof your relationship at any stage.
Let us know in the comments what you think and what topics you'd love to see in the next interview with my mother! Should we explore other aspects of romantic love, friendships, confidence, or family dynamics in the next one?
We answer the following questions in this post -
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 10 years. We’re still happy together. However, I want to take some time off and travel while he stays at home as he has a new job. I’m sad we can’t do it together and nervous about doing it solo. Is it the right decision?
The contraceptive pill and sex drive, how to deal with loss of sex drive in a relationship?
What is the key to successful long term relationships?
Is there truth to ‘when you know you know’ or is doubt normal? What’s the key to healthy and successful long term relationships?
How do you keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship, especially when life gets busy?
What are the biggest mistakes couples make when trying to resolve conflict?
Is it possible to come back from a rough patch, or is it sometimes better to walk away?
How can couples maintain their individuality while growing together as a team?
What are some signs that a relationship is truly healthy versus just comfortable?
How do you navigate big life changes (moving, career shifts, kids, etc.) without growing apart?
Long distance relationship tips
At the end of the post, I’ll be sharing a little update on what’s been happening in my life, along with some recommendations for some eating, reading and listening.
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Ok, let’s get going …
Sophie: This is a great one which I think so many people wonder about, but might not feel comfortable discussing openly. Is there truth to ‘when you know you know’ or is doubt normal?
Lorraine: It depends on where the doubt is coming from. Are you afraid of commitment, or are there genuine concerns about the relationship itself?
Healthy and long term relationships are all about